African Safari Papers by Robert Sedlack

Author:Robert Sedlack [SEDLACK, ROBERT]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC019000
ISBN: 9781468300956
Publisher: The Overlook Press
Published: 2011-12-20T00:00:00+00:00

Dad’s outside my door right now, calling me to dinner. Fuck off! I’m building sand castles for me and my girl.

8:52 p.m.

I’m alone on the balcony overlooking the salt pits. There is a bird making a strange sound. A light breeze is blowing. It is dark but diffused lights illuminate the area. There are a few zebras and a lot of gazelles. A big buffalo is standing absolutely still off in the distance. Is he asleep? Wonder if anyone’s ever tried to tip one over?

A few other people are here with me. I wish they’d leave. I want the balcony for myself. They look stupid and they irritate me. I judge mercilessly when I am like this. I look at these people and I imagine what is underneath all the bullshit. Bones. I imagine them as skeletons, sitting, drinking, laughing, moving around. It isn’t scary. It’s a relief. Helps take the edge off things. In a hundred years none of them will be around. All of them will be dead. They’ll be ash scattered in the trees. Sour corpses in caskets. None of what they say tonight will matter. The worms and the wind will see to that.

I know when the time comes for me to slip these earthly bonds I want my body to be cremated. I have never understood why people would want to be buried in a casket. The image of my body slowly rotting fills me with disgust. I want nothing left of me but ash. Either that or I will return to Africa and offer my diseased body to a leopard or a pride of lions. Let them kill me and eat me. And then, when they are done with the big pieces, let the hyenas have the smaller ones. And then let the birds swallow the scraps. And let the bugs finish off the rest. Nothing will go to waste. My body will be torn asunder and rest in the bellies of these majestic and scavenging beasts. What a noble death.

I can afford to think these grand ideas. My body is young and healthy. Let’s see how brave I am when I’m old and dying. I’ll probably be pumped to the gills on morphine, lying in my urine, curled up in a fetal position, whimpering that life is cruel. But that’s not tonight. Tonight I am king.

Dinner was difficult. I was still angry with mom for ruining the leopard sighting. I was surprised to see her outside my cabin when dad came to get me. I thought for sure he would have confined her to quarters. But there she was. And in spite of our very capable and armed escort, was nervously on the lookout for a charging buffalo.

The trouble started when I excused myself during dinner to go take a piss. Some guys take forever. I don’t mess around. Pee, splash water on my hands, dry them quickly and it’s over. I’m in, I’m out. I was gone for all of a minute. Maybe.

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